Sunday 26 October 2014

On prayer

"Let us, when moving with the music, become the music..."

Prayer is more than words. In fact, prayer does not need any words at all. A wordless gratitude comes closest to it. On the hardest of my days, I go out or take my dog to the forest. And I go, deep enough, to find space and silence within and around me. I go, deep enough, to hear my own wordless prayer. On the hardest of my days, I understand this silent prayer because there is nothing left I could ask for, desire or put in words. On the hardest of my days, I am grateful because I know I did and do my best, because I know it's all for good.

"Let us live deep enough, till there is only one direction..."

As a pilgrim, you fear most the big cities. The big cities where the sounds and lights around can easily distract you and sway you off your path. Prayer is then a practice you worked hard on in the wilderness, you remembered, brought out from within to take you farther into the wild again.

"Let us embrace the unexpected moment of unity..."

In a prayer there is knowing, understanding that might break your plans and structure but inevitably takes you where you need to go. Prayer is a companion there. You can surrender and feel your feet on the path again. Don't struggle!

"Let us have courage to hold each other when we break and worship what unfolds..."

Prayer is also in your eyes, your acts, and words. Not the words you address to God or universe but in the words you address to each other, the seeds of the very same God. Sometimes it's just about being nice, polite, respectful. But that's not where it ends. Sometimes you become the prayer you had once, the prayer others asked for. And sometimes, in the moment of pain, when something precious breaks, one soul reaching for another awakens the love.

"and let us live loud enough in our hearts till there is no need to speak."

How is it you don't need the words to prayer at all?! Desires and needs might not fade away at all but among that all, your heart grew so big that it is all-encompassing, it feels the whole world (small or big, world of your room becomes the world of the whole universe). And you feel something you can't describe through words. You feel...

(Quotes used from the Earth Prayer by Mark Nepo)


Feeling is a prayer!


"Ask without hidden motive
and be surrounded by your answer.

Be enveloped by what you desire.

Ask and you receive and your joy is complete."
                                    The gospel of John

Friday 10 October 2014

On faith

"Faith is an unreserved opening of the mind to the truth, whatever it may turn out to be. Faith has no preconceptions; it is a plunge into the unknown. Belief clings, but faith lets go." Allan Watts

Pat Schneider wrote once that the writing has demanded of her honesty, courage, listening, and waiting. I wrote that down because I couldn't agree more with her on that. And I also wrote that down because I felt there is more to it than just "writing".

Almost seven months ago I decided to start witting regularly. I decided that I would write every Sunday no matter what. You may wonder what it has to do with faith but it actually does! Almost seven months ago it was more than decision to write, it was an act of faith in Divine as well as myself! I have faith in my courage and honesty to share whatever I experience. I manifest my faith in being able to listen attentively for stories and words to use. And I have faith in Divine timing, waiting patiently every week for the "theme" to be revealed. 
And it is as simple as that: every week, my "job" is to be open, attentive, and to simply live fully present. And every week I "let go of" my writing until Sunday when I sit down and write. And I write as honestly as I can. 
For the first few weeks I had moments when I found myself anxious or worried if there would be "something" to write about next week. I tried to have it under control and was consciously looking for inspiration everywhere just to find out I lost most of the week in searching.

Faith indeed is about courage, honesty, listening, and waiting!

I friend of mine asked me if I ever get writer's block. "I did use to have it in the past" I replied. " But not really any more. I guess I just let go of desire to write about something and rather just started to write." It took me some time but I have faith, I know I will write about something but I understand that stillness and waiting come before; clearing the space for that "about" to fill it in. And discipline is a part of that. You wait first but then you start writing and have faith there always will be the reflection in the still waters to write about. And in such discipline the faith is fully manifested!

"As the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without deeds is dead." James 2:26

"It is said that when one door closes, another opens and new opportunities arise. It is also said that to welcome new in our lives we have to be willing to empty the space of the old. 
It is not always easy because we are scared of that emptiness; scared there might not be another chance to fill it. Nothing in the universe is ever empty.  Actually, it is just the process of replacing one with another." Camino Called Life

What is it you cling on to and can't let go of just because you desire it most? Be brave, honest, open, and patient! Just try once, and then again! And soon you may find yourself swimming in the waters of your desire, or something even better than you imagined.

Sunday 5 October 2014

On inspiration

"I was in the Spirit on the Lord's day, and heard behind me a great voice."

I heard the very last words of my book when I was out walking my dog one late spring evening. It was long before I wrote the last chapter but obviously, it didn't matter. It was as clear as could be and I heard every single word to be remembered. Unfortunately, I didn't have anything with me to write it down so I had to rely entirely on my memory. And I tried because I knew those words were important!
Half an hour later when I came back and finally wrote them down and felt relieved. For a while!
Engaged in other chores, the words still lingered in my mind, as if they didn't want to leave, as if I didn't do what I was supposed to do with them.
"What is it? I did write it down?" I said to myself (and God) out loud in my kitchen when even after an hour the words didn't want to leave.
I gave up and went to see the notes I made and there it was. Reading it all again I noticed I had missed some words in it. "Of course!" I thought, corrected the message and understood, finally.


Psychologists T.M.Thrash and A.J.Elliot have defined three basic aspects of inspiration:
- evocation - inspiration is evoked spontaneously and without intention
- transcendence - it is transcended of our animalistic and self- serving concerns and limitations. It often involves a moment of clarity and awareness of new possibilities.
- approach motivation - the inspired person longs to pass on, express the vision or an idea.

Given this definition, one would think there is little we can do to "be inspired". However, the opposite is true. There is a way and even thougt it involves practice and sort of discipline, it certainly is something we should strive for.
Openness proceeds inspiration! Openness to experience new and unknown, even to "go where angels fear to thread" as it is said. This of course involves amount of trust and surrender.

Motivation from within and for more than oneself is another "prerequisite".

And thirdly, spiritual state of mind - feeling of oneness and unity, which differs from the state of mind when we are enthusiastic or excited. 

All that (using the ideas of above mentioned psychologists) leads to one thing, inspiration is not meant to help us achieve any particular goal, especially not a personal one, but rather to awaken or bring something new, better, more important to anyone who might need it. And somehow, I do believe that every inspired person is around someone who needs that "something new, better, more important".

Every moment of inspiration I have been blessed with left me assured that it was for more than myself and my own sense of recognition (which after all, does not matter at all in this).
And every moment of inspiration let me experience incredible well-being and contentment for no particular reason, just the result of being open and receptive to the divine energy flowing through me at that moment.


"Do you want to know the whole story?" He asked me as we were sitting by the pond in the light of the waxing moon. 
"Of course I do!" I replied and deep down I knew where it all came from. I didn't know the story though and I needed to know it as well to understand fully.
"I was working on the wall when one of the verses came to my mind but I needed to finish my work first and I didn't have any paper around anyway. It stayed with me however. The words stayed with me until I safely wrote them down. And then, a couple hours later as I was driving, the rest emerged out of nowhere, as if from the darkness and silence of the road in front of me. Holding the wheel in one hand and pen and paper in another one, I was hoping I won't end up somewhere in the field. Stupid I know but I couldn't help myself, I had to write it all down. And I did! 
You were the inspiration! But I also know it was meant for all and so I shared it with everyone." He finished and the moment of silence filled with love and unity followed. Something new, more important was born between us.