The first and most important realization to start with is "being yourself, who you are truly and unapologetically and what you can build from that."
The time of silence is of immense value to find the answer to that. And so is the time spent alone. It is not always easy to face our true nature, our mind and soul, and accept it as it is, dark as much as bright, powerful as well as weak. Accept, embrace, and release all that was left unnoticed, what you were scared of, what you rejected.
It doesn't mean we start acting upon any feeling that arises within, manifest the darkness we all experienced. But rather, look for ways to build a path into the light, realize that we are not our feelings and regoznise our power over them, listen to their message but do not impose them on others.
And then, when you remember who you are, look at your relationships again, anew!
Here comes another challenge, temptation. As Gary Douglas says "don't divorce yourself just because you are in a relationship with another person."
Or else, what would you build from?
What is the purpose of any relationship, be it friendship, parenting, marriage?
Try to answer this question for yourself and examine again how much yourself is in it, how much you allow yourself to contribute to the creation that comes from relationships.
First of all, I see any form of relationship as a mean of creation on earth. We need to experience oneness, merge opposites and all their qualities to create something new. When we approach creation from the place of lack what comes to life?
A true friendship is about empowering the strengths we hold. A conscious parenting is about guidance towards full potential. Marriage of souls is a journey of seeing each other in what appears to be dual.
So what is the purpose of relationship? Surely not completion, filling the emptiness, competition. It is not about seeing myself in the eyes of another but more about seeing the creation in the eyes of the other. It is not putting yourself in front of another, nor diminishing oneself.
Relationship mantra: "Let me be me and you be you. And together create something new in this world, something as true, complete, and honest as we are in it."
"If only you are lucky to find the person whose eyes are your home, with no restrictions or conditions. You walk together and offer healing to each other without knowing it. With only that, with that much, you walk every day through life to wherever your place is, and each one is free to walk their own path." Camino Called Life