Sunday, 15 June 2014

On failing

"We grow and leave the places we call homes. And then, we try to recreate those places from our memories and experiences, hoping to make it work for us again. I thought I had it. I had worked hard on making it work and looked for all the ingredients necessary. Yet I had failed without understanding why, and I kept failing." Camino Called Life

This week I could add "and I keep failing again".
There are easy weeks when everything seems to flow effortlessly and then there are weeks when you can't find a way to make it work, to move forward when things didn't work out, to get into grips with the purpose and meaning of it all.
Everything around me is changing. People move on, start new businesses or have babies and I was somehow forced to realize (maybe more than ever) that despite the wonderful dreams and goals I have for my life, despite the never-ceasing pursue of my calling, despite being fully aware and proud of the journey I started three years ago, despite it all, there are times when I feel empty, lost or alone.
I got to the point in my life when I wouldn't be able to put aside what I have learned. And at the same time, I see that is not enough, that is not the end. There is still more to learn and lots to build.

Whatever you learn, especially that which you learn through pain and failure, is a part of your appointment! It is then when you start to see oneness instead of separation, and when love outgrows fear.

Finally, I need to stop punishing myself for the mistakes I did in the past because I didn't know better, for the times I hurt those I love with the decisions I had to make, for the love I couldn't give because I didn't have it myself. I won't be able to move on unIess I start receiving, with love! That's it; receive with love!
What if the mistakes, the failures, the obstacles are blessings in disguise? What if they are even more than that? What if they are the key to unlocking your full potential, letting the perfect Divine break through the imperfect form? 

"God turns the mess in our lives to our message!" Joel Osteen

Yes, this week, I temporarily lost the land from my sight, I was left swimming in cold waters for life, alone, helpless. But you know what? Deep down, the spark, the flame didn't die out and that made all the difference. That's the light we don't chose to get, that's the appointment we receive to bear the fruits that will last, and it will get us through it all if we don't ignore it. And it will get us through better off than we were before.
Receive the experiences, the failures, the LOVE this world offers you along the way! 

"The Soul within our individual souls loves the one who runs and falls down more than the one who sits and watches." Rumi


  1. Dear Vladka,

    I am so grateful that you are out there writing these words. You speak for me. I have been reading your posts since you started your blog. I wrote a comment once telling you how much your words meant, but somehow I don't think it reached you. I am reading out again to let you know, and to thank you again.

    This post came at the perfect time, like almost all your posts. I have been feeling led by a sense of failure in the past few months. It's been incredibly depleting and I could sense the hole getting deeper and deeper. My old ways of remedying the moment, and finding the "spark" as you mention it weren't working. Finally I surrendered, and here was your post.

    "What if the mistakes, the failures, the obstacles are blessings in disguise? What if they are even more than that? What if they are the key to unlocking your full potential, letting the perfect Divine break through the imperfect form?"

    And this is my spark. I am resolved to face the mistakes with love and gratitude. They are signposts on my journey. They are helping see the gaps, and I know I have the love and knowledge to fill those gaps. If it hadn't been for the mistakes, the regrets and the vulnerability, I would never have seen the gaps. We can't see the light without having darkness as a reference point.

    Again, thank you for being there.

    In love, light, and darkness,

    1. My dear Josette,
      It is so good to hear from you! Thank you! Thank you for reading and comment here. I don't think I can express my gratitude for the fact that "my" words actually lift a veil of forgetfulness for some.
      Your spark is there, always within you, and there is nothing you can do to destroy it. It is your nature, so don't worry, through tough times, just like in winter when there is darkness and cold everywhere around, go inside, you don't need to do anything, the fireplace is there....
      Lots of love,