Sunday, 2 November 2014

On Ego

I have started a brand new notebook today and the first words I wrote down were
Finally, you are here! The whole world has been waiting for you to come.

Those were the words I heard from my good friend and therapist and made me realize something very profound, something I didn't hear for the first time but I "successfully" ignored until now.

It wasn't until I wrote my book from journey that I realized fully all the lessons I learned there. Each day there was something new to learn and when I was writing it in a book I saw it clearly. However, one very crucial lesson was there, unseen to me yet interwoven in each day on my camino.

"You always say we, us, our. I want to know where YOU are." Said my friend when she finished reading my book. And my first reaction was rejection, as usual. But she made it clear and I was forced to face it one more time.

This beautiful, wild, and perfect universe made it possible for me to come into the time and place that is buzzing with transformation. Physical material world is no longer enough and we learn to see and grow beyond the form. And here I came to learn my lesson about the ego and the physical.

See the ego as the grain of sand that enables the oyster to create the pearl.

All spiritual teachings strive for the balance, harmony, and return to unity and oneness. How come there is a part of our uniqueness and oneness that we try to overcome, defy, and don't seem to accept as a part of the divine plan and masterpiece?

Ego, after all, is what makes us human in the first place.

In my story, that little part of me got hurt and wounded along the way; a little child scared and full of doubts and insecurities hiding inside of me. And instead of love and care I could give it, I turned away and rejected it. 
Little did I know I was turning away from the little sun within; the sun that can cast the light on gifts and talents, the sun that dispels all shadows and faults.

"Healthy ego can express its talents and creations without fear of how it will be received. It does not need to boast or convince others of its worth, it creates for the pure joy of expression, like a child." (From an article on partneryoga.net)

Not only was I made with love, I was made of love. How silly it is to think there is a fault and lack in such creation!

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